Reflection of Annual Conference

I had the opportunity to be a lay delegate for the Illinois Great Rivers Conference Annual Conference for half of this last week. For those unfamiliar with this process as I was until very recently, the United Methodist Church has regional conferences and once a year delegates are selected and sent tone place to voice opinions and vote on issues before the conference. It works similarly to the representative government that we are used to here in America, with a Bishop presiding over the house. I was a lay member delegate, meaning that I am not clergy.

Annual conference is a mix of reports, resolutions, and worship time. What I was looking forward to, aside from Morning Manna and Jorge Acevedo's messages, was the report from General Conference. Each conference sends delegates to represent them at a General conference of the whole church to decide matters as a whole once every four years- Africa, the Philippines, Cuba, the US everyone. 2012 was General Conference year.

The reason I was looking forward to this report might seem strange as I was deeply saddened and disappointed by some of the decisions made at this general conference specifically about human sexuality. Presently, in the UM Book of Discipline it states "The practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching." I do not believe that to be true personally, spiritually, or scripturally.

In addition to that, at General Conference two respected clergy members proposed that we adopt a petition stating that we are not of one mind on this issue with the Wesleyan ideal of "not thinking alike, but loving alike" at its core. That, too, was shot down.

Like many others, I felt, and feel, wounded.

On the issue of human sexuality, I will be the first to admit I am close minded. I was reminded of this at Annual Conference. One experience I have had when having this conversation with other Christians that do not feel the same way I do, is that I need to spend more time in the scriptures. I will also be the first to admit that nothing regarding this issue infuriates me more than someone assuming that I and others like me, have absolutely no scriptural basis in our beliefs. It's insulting, arrogant, and judgmental. During the roundtable, when someone brought up that we need to come to conclusions based on scripture, I shut down. I could no longer hear what was being said. My hurt and anger took control, and I was blinded. Call me the hulk of LGBTQ religious and civil rights. Although there was no smashing, my heart and mind couldn’t hear any more.

It was not until this morning, when our Bishop was preaching about human nature and our call to be at peace and inspire peace that I was able to listen. He brought up a story about an ornery young woman and I couldn't help but see myself in those same cantankerous shoes. I was humbled. I have been wrong by shutting down and continuing to only have conversations with like-minded folks. Blessed are the peace keepers, willing to listen, forgive and be forgiven for the hurts we have experienced and caused.

I cannot say that I'm there, but I am for the first time I am willing to try. Not because it's easy for me- I'm naturally ornery- but because that is what we are called by God to do. Sometimes I need to be bent out of shape while striving to be a Christ Follower.

Two things that stuck with me today:
"Without forgiveness, there is no future" Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Matthew 5:9